I’m not sure how well it works all the way through, but the plan was to put this to the rhythm of the verses of Hope by R.E.M.
You want to blame the players, but you have to blame the schedule,
Because they sent you off to Pakistan, to test your team’s credentials,
And they failed a third time in Lahore, because your batsmen can’t score runs,
And its fast becoming torturous instead of being fun.
You’ve got to take your medicine, because you won none of your matches,
And you’ve got to watch Miandad bat, because you can’t take catches,
You’ve got to bowl coherent spells instead of well in patches,
And you’ve got to hope that you bounce back, in the month before the Ashes
You’ve got to play much better to compete in Pakistan,
And you’ve got to find an answer to the threat of Imran Khan,
Cause he took another eight this game, and a quick fire thirty-nine,
The only thing that looked like beating Pakistan was time.